3 weeks later, I can’t stop thinking about it all. You would think that would give me some clarity – but its all going round and round in my head and getting more and more confusing. My head wants to explode and I wouldn’t mind if it did.
Yesterday, he gave me the “other” photos. There are 15 “models” in total, all photographed in erotic poses. Suddenly, I am questioning my own self esteem. I’m 43 years old and in great condition for my age – but even I can’t compare to these twenty-something models with their breast implants and firm skin. Am I destined to spend the rest of my life feeling like I just can’t compare and I’m not exciting enough?
And despite all of this – he’s shouting at me because he doesn’t like the way I’m interrogating him! I’m so sorry, but where is the script for how I’m supposed to behave?
Today I feel more than any other day that I won’t be able to live with this.
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