Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Random Musings by ITouchButNoReceive

A few things that i have been juggling in my head…  

1) I really wish i had lived 10,000 years ago because then I would have participated in the naming of things.  To this end, I have a bone to pick with the vast majority of nameologists, specifically the color naming guy.  How boring was this dude?! umm, blue, umm, red, umm green..I mean seriously.  They way I see it, eventually the pharoah got fed up with this no-talent-ass-clown and replaced him with a prodigy. It was the second guy, fearing a beheading like his unoriginal predecessor, who came up with gems such as turquoise, lavender, magenta….I just love saying it…ma-gen-ta. Great word. I would have liked to have met magenta man.

2)  I masturbate regularly. I dont think I have a problem, but I do partake in the activity as much I can.  I’ve used a variety of clean up methods over the years, and have settled on a few special purpose socks.  But I never masturbate in the shower.  Can someone please explain to me why ejaculate, normally a silky smooth harmless substance, becomes gorilla superglue in the shower? If you touch the wall with some of it on your hands, you might never get out of there!  I’ve had sex in water places – hot tubs, pools, oceans and such, and I dont remember this ever being a problem. Its not like a girl was stuck to my manhood and we rode a wave in together. Is there something about shower water that chemically reacts with my mini-me’s?

3) If your in a same sex relationship, is it predetermined who is responsible for the marriage proposal. If you’re a gay man, in a serious relationship with another man, and your role is the designated “catcher” are you off the hook when it comes to ring shopping? Similarly, if two bull dikes are thinking about getting hitched, is it the outside spoon reach around lesbian who needs to buy the ring?  I mean we are talking some serious cash here, there is a lot at stake. I might even be worth catching to save the money. Do gay men even wear engagement rings?

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