I woke up yesterday with a problem. Horny. So very horny. And even after taking care of myself (twice), the problem had not been resolved.
I had the idea that I would be meeting up for coffee with a blind date from Craigslist. So, while I was in the shower, I DID NOT shave my legs. That’s right. DID NOT. Because I certainly didn’t want to end up in bed with this guy on a first date (as has been my habit) and figured there was no way I would jump into bed with him in my (very) hairy state.
Now, because I am an idiot who sometimes often loses track of time, I completely flaked out and did not meet said man for coffee as we had scheduled. He called me at the meet-up time. He was there, wondering where I was. Such an asshole move on my part.
Later that day, Critter came over as we had planned and I made dinner and threw on a movie. He reassured me that said man would likely recover from the disappointment of being stood up and I confessed to him that it was probably for the best. That, given my horny state, I would probably end up luring the poor man into bed and the usual pattern would happen: I’d sleep with him, then not hear from him and descend into my usual I’m-such-a-loser state of mind.
So, Critter solved my problem. In the best way. There was nakedness and all. For some reason, he still finds me sexy when I’m in pj pants and a baggy t-shirt. While we will never make it work in a romantic sense and I’m never going to give into his half-joking pleas to have a kid with him, I’m glad he’s around. Whether he’s naked and solving my problem or hanging out with The Mook.
——-
I met Critter about 2 1/2 years ago. I responded to his CL ad (I was still living with the Former Mr at the time, but we were separated.The Former Mr was unaware that I was pursuing dating possibilities.) and I liked what he had to say. Hell, before we even met, he acknowledged and wished me a Happy Mother’s Day.
We met on Victoria Day weekend in May of 2007. I felt comfortable with him, which was stunning since I had not been on a date for nearly 9 years. Soon enough I found that he, too, has an unquiet mind. That he finds himself in dark spaces. He’s been hospitalized and has scars from the cutting and scarring he inflicted upon himself.
We laid out our expectations early. Neither of us was interested in a committed relationship. We both wanted to be free to date other people, but would be honest with one another.
Before we had had a chance to sleep together, he told me (bragged almost) that he had slept with his ex-girlfriend. I was mad. And hurt. In talking with a friend, I was able to explain to him I felt rejected. That I thought he had been just as eager to hop into bed with me (just me, not an ex-girlfriend) as I was.
He was the first person I slept with after the end of my marriage. In fact, I had not had sex with The Former Mister since June of 2006 when Critter and I made an afternoon of sex, sleep and strawberries. He became my ‘transitional lover’. The man who would remind me that I am still sexy, still attractive and still able to turn someone on and that I would recover from being in a sexless marriage.
Through trial and error (plenty of it), we figured out that we were better friends than anything else. There were some hurt feelings, but we’ve recovered.
——-
While I could have solved my problem of being horny with a booty call, I held out. Those random rolls in the bed just remind me that I don’t have a partner in my life. A man who can appreciate me (and my sex drive!) and the kind of guy I woudn’t mind making breakfast for and having him stick around for more than a night. Maybe, just maybe, someone worth introducing my kidlet to.
No comments:
Post a Comment